And one of

the disarming ironies of fat acceptance is that, once you step outside the panopticon of self-loathing and cease obsessing about your body and the ways it deviates from an impossible ideal, you become much more aware of the mechanics of what makes you feel satisfied, invigorated, and inspired and your choices – about food, physical activity, and personal presentation – reflect your needs and your identity. More than that, in accepting your body as it is, you help to create a culture that respects and values the diversity of all bodies, a culture that, to return to Allison, “refuses lying myths and easy moralities,” that sees people as “human, flawed and extraordinary.” Back when I was punishing my body with four-hour workouts and styrofoam food that filled me with little else than despair, I never felt any sort of triumph or control over myself or my life, or deep engagement with the world around me. All my time and energy was spent buying into a loser’s game with a moving set of goal posts because – surprise! – capitalist diet culture is in the business of manufacturing failure, a self-sustaining economy of never-ending problems with impermanent purchasable solutions in the form of magic herbs, vibrating hot pants and “fixing” creams. It was only when I shut out the racket of diet discourse and refused to subject myself to an unforgiving beauty politic – reclaiming my body as my own – that I felt I had any agency, and valued it in others.
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