a great note from a reader last night regarding my post on what not to pitch to a sex blogging feminist writer. (Spoiler: the offending party was a dating site for Ivy Leaguers.) She wondered whether I’m starting to preach too much to the feminist crowd, at the expense of alienating regular folks who don’t identify strongly with the gender equality movement. She considers herself progressive-minded, but not feminist, because she likes cooking, dressing up, and traditionally feminine activities. She doesn’t want to “have” to do these things because of her gender, but she also doesn’t care if men expect it of other women. In other words, it’s their prerogative if they want a submissive mate. I’d argue that every woman should have to right to autonomously make decisions about how to live her life, without social pressure to behave otherwise. (That’s why I think we ought to change people’s opinion if they believe women or their partner should behave in a demure, feminine manner. These expectations aren’t formed in a vacuum!) And by and large, contemporary feminists acknowledge that choosing to participate in traditionally feminine activities doesn’t mean that one can’t be a feminist. (Just look at this submission I received over on the Feminist Coming Out Day website a couple weeks ago. Shedding light on how feminist beliefs can manifest themselves is part of the reason why I founded the Feminist Portrait Project.)
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